Phillies Nation

New York: The Team. The Time. The Toilet

Posted by Brian Michael, Sun, August 06, 2006 05:09 AM

[pictures pending]

A New York State Of Mind.  It’s more than a Billy Joel song and more than a national perception of an entire demographic of people. It’s a way of life.

The People

New Yorkers are a tough breed who don’t take crap from anyone. Though these characteristics of living in the ‘big city’ are seen as essential, it is nothing further from the truth. A New Yorker is a person who feels they are better than everyone else because they are from "New Yawk." They are wrapped up in their 2 teams per sport, ‘city that never sleeps’ motto and are quick to never let you forget it. It doesn’t excuse them for being complete jackasses.

• Who talk’s crap to a group of 18 year old kids dressed up as Super Heroes?
• What people are proud to live in a vast area of space filled with landfills, chopshops across the street from their stadium and are proud to sing "Meet The Mets" when other people are in an ear shot?
• Who thinks that by chanting  "Get To .500" , "Terrell Owens" or "Chase Utley Sucks" in both Spanish and English will even bother a Philadelphia fanbase?

Ladies and Gentleman, meet New York Mets fans.

They were quiet throughout most of the game until the Mets’ offense decided to wake up, to the delight of the home crowd. In an attempt to explain that the only reason the Mets won yesterday was not because they are good, it’s because ours is bad, it was to no avail.

The highlight of my afternoon was at the end of the game. Departing the stadium along with Flash’s Followers we were greeted by a woman in her 40’s who looks like the female twin of Danny DeVito. The inspiration that spewed from her lungs was classic:

Remember, while she is saying this she sounds like Fran Dresher from "The Nanny".

Trust me lady, In retrospect I am glad I spent 18 dollars on my ticket. You live in a cesspool of urban plight and decay mixed with illegal immigration and topped with the sensation to never return. I feel sorry for your cause: You can use all the help you can get.

To me, Manhattan is New York. Everywhere else, is just that. Queens is the largest of 5 New York boroughs and hosts the most ethically diverse population in all of New York. It is evident driving around. Queens reminds me of what Castor Avenue would look like if it were it’s own small country (Northeast Philly joke).

It is a Mecca of sporting complexs, hosting the N.Y. Mets, The U.S. Open and Aqueduct race track. That is where the love affair with this place ends.

The Game

The game was very boring and uneventful early on. A 3-run homerun by Ryan Howard gave the Phillies an early lead and fired up the visiting crowd. Until the 6th inning the game was a snoozefest.

It is good to see Pat Burrell own up to not making a play in the outfield.

I think the idea of having Dellucci as the new leftfielder is the only way to go. It’s obvious that Pat Burrell can not play defense anymore. The guy has cost the Phils games with his bat and now with his glove. When do you say enough is enough?

The Recap

Queens is an awful place besides for that sphere from Men In Black. It is truly a namesake of its section, Flushing. Except the toilet of Queens is backed up and its contents flow all throughout the borough infecting everything and everyone it touches.

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