This Week in Schadenfreude: Hanley, John Wall, JSN, and Barajas – Phillies Nation
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This Week in Schadenfreude: Hanley, John Wall, JSN, and Barajas

Welcome to This Week in Schadenfreude, a new feature here at Phillies Nation where we explore why, no matter what kind of week the Phillies are having, it’s better to root for them than to support the other four teams in the National League East.

Florida Marlins

It might seem like piling on, but the Marlins’ winningest manager of all time is Fredi Gonzalez. Gonzalez seems like a tactically astute manager who has gotten a lot from a young team these past three seasons and change. But Gonzalez seems intent on running shortstop Hanley Ramirez out of town, first by making him cut his dreads, and now by benching him for not running down a ball he booted. Instead of having his best player in the lineup, Fredo would rather trot out an injured Brian Barden for eight innings. Yes, it’s important to keep your players, even your stars, hungry and disciplined. Now Han-Ram in the process of quitting on his manager, who has made it quite clear that he’s willing to put his players’ health at risk to institute Marine Corps discipline.

Just know, Marlins fans, that Miami is not big enough for the two of them. Han-Ram is the best player in the game not named Pujols, and if this pissing contest with Fredo continues, I bet only one of them is around for the long term. Now batting for the 2013 New York Yankees….

Washington Nationals

We Philly fans know what it’s like when your teams are constantly upstaging each other. The Phillies trade for Roy Halladay during Eagles season, then the Eagles trade Donovan McNabb the night before Opening Day for the Phils. The Nats are having a good (if not sustainable) season, hovering around .500 and in third place, with the shadows of Stephen Strasburg and Bryce Harper looming on the horizon. Now that the Caps are out of the playoffs, they might get some attention.

Then, Tuesday night, the Wizards won the draft lottery, entitling them to select John Wall, Tamer of Horses and Destroyer of Worlds, with the first pick in the NBA draft. Suddenly, the Nats are once again the fourth-most important team in the town, and by the time anyone remembers they exist, they’ll be back in the cellar. Poor guys.

Atlanta Braves

If a tree climbs out of last place in the division, and no one’s around to hear it, does it make a sound? It sucks to be a Braves fan because this team, of whom many (including me) expected much this offseason, is so far doing its best to make sure Bobby Cox leaves and never wants to come back. Or at least, it would suck if there were any Braves fans. The Atlanta Braves are like a public service, a way to kill time until UGA football starts up again, something to listen to on the radio while The Bull at 94.9 is on commercial and Jean Shorts Nation is heading to the store for Natty Light and dip.

New York Mets

(cracks knuckles) Where to begin? Well, at least they’ve gotten their precipitous fall from first place out of the way early this year. After the Phillies regained top spot in the division, the Mets have been in a tailspin and have dropped nine of their last 11 games, all but one of which was against a division opponent.

But right now, the Mets are doing less with more than perhaps any other team in baseball. They’re paying more than twice as much per win as the Nats and nearly three times as much per win as the Rays. The worst part is that the team is run by a manager, Jerry Manuel, and a GM, Omar Minaya, who seem to neither have the inclination to turn matters around nor the ability to do so if they wanted to. No one’s mismanaged this much money this badly since the Greek government under George Papandreou, amirite?

Oh, and Rod Barajas is leading the team in home runs. I wonder if LeBron can play second base….



  1. George

    May 20, 2010 at 11:57 am

    I hope you realize that with this post you are inviting every troll there is to clog up Phillies Nation.

    Rather than sarcastically running down the other NL East teams, did it ever occur to you to root for the Phils because they happen to be a well-run franchise with loads of talent? No, I suppose your cheap humor is easier when another team is put at a disadvantage. I’d guess that in Kindergarten you laughed at the kid who wore glasses.

  2. Phylan

    May 20, 2010 at 12:12 pm

    What on earth did you think the point was of a post called “This Week in Schadenfreude?” Good lord man, no need to read it if you’re that worried about the maturity of a Phillies blog. What’s it like being wound tighter than Milton Bradley?

  3. Paul Boye

    May 20, 2010 at 12:32 pm

    George, I take it you haven’t been around very long if you’ve only rooted for Phillies teams that have been “well-run” and featured “loads of talent.”

  4. bfo_33

    May 20, 2010 at 12:38 pm

    Being part of same demographic as most baseball “journalist” (middle aged suburban white guy want to be athlete), my initial thoughts on Han-Ram was that he is just another ungrateful slacker wasting his gift. A big part of me still feels that way, but this is the first time I’ve thought about it from Han-Ram’s view. The scary thing is, this is the type of encounter that can bring a team together and elevate play (or cause a revolution).

    While I’m not particularly funny, I enjoy a well thought out snarky piece from time to time. Nice post, and even looking forward to the potential troll traffic (I enjoy the comments as much as many of the posts, and the site has been dead for a week). I also laughed at the kid who wore glases in kindergarten (and he laughed at me for being short and chubby – we had a grand time).

    I don’t think J. Manuel will make to June – look out, here comes Bobby V.

  5. Mostone

    May 20, 2010 at 1:43 pm

    Are you kidding me? Gonzalez was totally right benching Ramirez. It had to be the last straw. When the Marlins were playing the Phils earlier in the season Ramirez dogged something – I think it was a double-play and he was heading into 2nd. I turned to my husband and said “he should be benched for that.” Then when Ramirez started burying his team and his coach in the media he showed exactly the kind of player he is.

  6. George

    May 20, 2010 at 4:42 pm

    I’ve been a Phils fan far longer than a lot of the people who comment here, Mr. Boye. Maybe I should have brought up the teams that were even more horrible than those that were denigrated from the rest of the current NL west.

    I’ll always be a firm believer in backing a team because you like that team, not because you think the others are all imbecilic slackers. I don’t care what the rest of you slobs might say about it, but I think it’s poor sportsmanship to gloat over and make sarcastic remarks about someone else’s honest efforts.

    I might have known that I’d be accused of being wound too tight, worrying too much about the site’s “maturity,” being a recent–and so by insinuation, unknowlegable, fan–and probably all kinds of other things before the day is out.

    Maybe I didn’t have to read this, but curiosity told me too, and once I read, I DO have a right to complain. To answer you, Phylan, YOU DON”T HAVE TO READ MY COMPLAINTS!!

    I can see “schadenfreude” as the kind of thing bfo_33 mentioned; EXCHANGING hurtful comments for laughs, but this was not even close. These were the kind of comments that get people (deservedly) knocked unconscious in bars.

  7. Lewisauce

    May 20, 2010 at 6:53 pm

    If I want balanced, fair, traditional journalism about baseball and specifically about the Phillies, I read the Inky.

    But this here’s a blog. I am here specifically for the combination of:
    1. sarcasm and humour
    2. banter with people who know the game well
    3. alternative viewpoints that I can’t get from the mainstream media

    If this site goes all withered, polite and respectable, I’m gone. So keep up the good work, Lads.

  8. Brian Sr. of CO

    May 20, 2010 at 7:20 pm

    Yet the biggest moron of a Troll hasn’t shown up yet? Wierd. As for “Han-Ram” first the nickname is kind of STUPID, beyond that…”best player in the game not named Pujols”. Sorry but I disagree. He can hit, but I dont think defensively he is at the top. Defensively I would Tulo and Rollins above him. All around players…Have you ever hear of this guy in Minnesota? His name is Joe Mauer. Hey dont get me wrong, I love Chooch, but I would say Mauer is among the best all around players in the league at #3 in MLB with avg, and is a darn fine Defensive catchers. Beyond that, “Fredo” was 100% correct to bench the ignorrant, Cry baby you can “Han-Ram”. It should tell you something when EVERY other player in the club house came out publicly to say he was wrong, and supported “Fredo”. Ramirez was wrong. This makes me think of Cholly benching J-Roll at least TWICE that I recall. Once for not hustling, the other for being late to a meeting. Hmm, can anyone tell me how that has turned out? The manager is the Manager. They make the rules, and the PLAYERS need to PLAY. Stop being ignorrant cry baby’s making more in one year that most of us make in a lifetime. That being said, I dont think the Marlins are as good the Phillies. Just give it time, Dan Uggla will go back to what he is known for…A few timely Homers, mediocre fielding, and hitting in the double plays (see 2008 All Star Game), and the team will be completely carried by some picthing and Ramirez while the rest fall off. Maybe Cantu will continue as well. Not a bad team, but not great. Just a good young team.

  9. Nunzio Scholeri

    May 20, 2010 at 10:50 pm

    I agree with what a number of folks have already said – that benching Ramirez was absolutely the right call. Look, people, it’s not that complicated. If you’re getting paid millions of dollars to do a job, and you half-ass it, there are consequences. It doesn’t matter who you are. It reflects badly on you and the team. If there are no consequences for him being apathetic and lazy, what motivation does he have to not repeat this pathetic behavior?

    What blows my mind is this: Why would someone dedicate their lives to training themselves to be one of the best at a game that they don’t care about enough to give 100%?

  10. MikeB.

    May 21, 2010 at 3:34 am

    George, you referred to others who responded to this post as “slobs”. If you feel that Michael Baumann was denigrating in his article in what he posted about the other teams in the Eastern Division, you were denigrating towards those who responded to Mr, Baumann’s article by calling them “slobs”.

  11. Phylan

    May 21, 2010 at 2:53 pm


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